Preparation - The Beginning

OK - It's taken me 9 months to get to this point and when I started I thought it would only be a month or so - wrong - again. My surgery is scheduled for next week but I had to go through a lot to get here. The first, and biggest, barrier was the requirement to be on a physician/dietician supervised diet for 6 months. The other requirements were: a trial on meds (didn't work), having a psychological evaluation (that's my profession and now I have to be the client - oh joy!!), a mammogram, a tetanus shot, and a cardiac workup. Once the diet was finished (it was a waste of time), it took another two months to get that first appointment with the surgeon - who, by the way, I like very much. So I took the final requirement yesterday - a three hour class, a consult with a pharmacist to review all my meds etc. a chest Xray and final blood work. That final blood work revealed a small glitch, which will not interfere with the surgery date, relative to the presence of bacteria in my system that may cause ulcers - well, let's just add another log on the fire :0)! So now I am on some "super" medication regime for the next 14 days that will (hopefully) get rid of the unwanted and unnecessary little pest.

So - here's what I am looking forward to - trying to lose as much weight as possible in the next 6 days in whatever method works best to get weight off quickly - it helps the surgeon if there is less fat surrounding the liver and apparently crash dieting hits that area first with fat removal. Following this surgery - it is liquids for 2 weeks etc. I am taking off for two weeks even though I'm told I can go back to work in one week.

I must take a picture of myself for the "before" and look at it while the weight comes off - well -- maybe not. It is and will be a grim reminder of the weight. How did I let this happen? Two children didn't help but - really - others have kids and take it off afterwards??? Is it lack of will power - although now, research tends to debunk that theory. I do know that I love the taste of food and I like just about everything. Everything I like is bad for me? I remember hearing from my Grandmother - "Clean your plate - the people in China are starving". So - now when I look at that - what do the starving people in China have to do with my eating habits? How did that get into my psyche? How many other things are buried inside of me? How do I get them out, deal with them, and move on to a healthier lifestyle. I want to see my grandchildren graduate from college and be at their weddings and perhaps if I'm lucky enough, hold a great-grandchild?

Today I was able to control what I ate - I think that is all I can do - just one day at a time. This sounds like AA? But food is an addiction - at least for me. So if I utilize some of the tools from AA and NA, is that a bad thing? Well - the 24 hour thing worked today and I hope it will work for tomorrow. Tikki